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I'm still not sure what I want to be when I grow up.

Are you sitting close to 30,40,60, years old and still not sure "what you want to be when you grow up"? Don't worry friend, you're absolutely not alone! Not by a long shot!

This year I will be turning the big 3-0! There's something about that number that makes a lot of us want to re-evalute our live's! Heck, any birthday ending in a zero probably does. We start asking ourselves some pretty brutal questions like: "Have we lived up to the dreams and expectations we've had for ourselves up until this point?" The answer is... if I'm being honest... probably not! But maybe that's not such a bad thing! Hear me out...

When you're 8, chilling at home eating p.b. + J sandwiches, with your mom doing your laundry and cleaning up behind you, and your biggest task of the day is to build a tree fort with little Johnny down the road, or see if your best friend Sam can come over to play for the afternoon...dreaming of being a doctor doesn't seem so far fetched at all! We have NO IDEA as a child what hard work those dreams will require as an adult! So we dream away about all the possibilities because it's easy, it's fun, and as a child you don't ever stop to ask yourself if you're CAPABLE or not of living out that dream, because darn it, when you're 8, you can do anything! Dreams are fun, not scary!

Just ask my 2 boys what they want to be when they grow up. I can guarantee you it's something different every time I ask! From becoming a doctor, to a janitor, to a preacher, to being a daddy, being an astronaut, or even the PRESIDENT (Hey, if Trump can do it...) to a 'frog catcher' (if there is such a thing!) You name it, and at some point they've wanted to be it! And when I ask "What happened to being (fill in the blank with whatever they wanted to grow up to be last time I asked them)" Landon so confidently and boldly tells me, "I can do all those things mom!" Bless his heart! He does seem super human during our bedtime routine every night, so justttttt maybe he is super human enough to carry the responsibility of 2 insanely demanding jobs, BUT for stress sake, let's hope he focus's on just 1!!

I had lots of dreams as a kid of what I wanted to be when I grew up... a mom, a veterinarian, a writer, working on a talk show, justin timberline's back up dancer, to name just a few! But the truth is when I got to the end of High School and all my closest friends were preparing for college, and knew exactly what they wanted to be, I was absolutely clueless. I was actually more confident in what I DIDN'T want to be than anything I might possibly consider studying for the next 4 years. I didn't want to work in the health field, because I have a weak stomach. I didn't want to do anything that required public speaking because well...who on Earth would want to willingly participate in that kind of torture? I possess no musical talent what so ever, so that category was out! I'm not great with technology! You get the point. I was completely and utterly unsure! So I kept working. They weren't always jobs that I desired to have, but everyone of them certainly taught me something along the way, even if it was that I NEVER wanted to do that job ever again, let alone do it for the rest of my life!

Looking back, I'm to sure how I didn't rack up crazy amounts of student debt. It's been wildly common for young adults to be encouraged to pursue college, no matter the cost! All so you can have a "good job" when you graduate. We've been encouraged to take out loan after loan while in college, for books, for living expenses, for your computer, for your rent, for food, for basically ANYTHING you want in your how ever many years of college because it's ok while you're going to college, even if you're not working, all because "You will have a degree when you finish!" We've been pushed to pursue college no matter what the cost. When the reality is for a lot of people, you go to a college you can't afford, even if you're unsure of what you're going for, to get a job that can't afford your student loan payment when you're finished.

Now I'm not saying that's the case for everyone. I know there are people out there who have parents or family members who have set aside money for them. My husband was very blessed by his Grandmother who to set aside an amount for him to put towards his education after graduating high school. I also know there are people who work crazy hours and jobs while pushing school just so they pay on their student loan debt. My husband also worked full time while in school to get out of 4 years of college he had with very little student loan debt. But I'm fully aware that is not the norm, and not everyone has those circumstances or opportunities as an option. I also know that he is one of MANY people I'm close to, that if they could go back in time would choose an entirely different career choice for their degree than what they have now.

So it begs the question...is 18 TOO young to know what you want to be when you grow up? Certainly not for everyone.... but for many...I think the answer would be a resounding yes! If you look at HOW MANY adults are going back to school at 30,40,50,60 who already possess a degree they earned at 23, tells me that maybe there is something to "Life Experience". Do you know who you are at 18 well enough to predict knowing who you'll want to be at 30? I sure didn't!

For a few long time I would let myself feel embarrassed or 'less than' for not having a college degree hung somewhere in our home office! Even if I wasn't using it! Until this year! I'm just a few months shy of 30, and for the first time in entire life, I can confidently tell you "what I want to be when I grow up"! And it only took me 30 years to figure it out! A writer! For the first time I'm more than ok in spending my finances towards reaching that dream, I'm determined and at peace with giving my time and efforts, hard work, and commitment that it will require to get me there. I'm confidient it will bring me joy and excitement 10,30,50 years from now!

So if you're like me...and I know there so many other's out there who will relate to this post...not sure what you want to be when you grow up...you're not alone! I challenge you...don't stop dreaming! Don't stop believing in yourself! It clicks for us all at different times in life. You don't need the world to tell you who you're supposed to be, you just need God to! Let Him tell you "who you want to be when you grow up".